Have you ever loved someone so much you're positive breathing without him or her is impossible? Had to fight so hard you lost sense of yourself? This book is dedicated to everyone who has felt the pangs of love. Suffered, fought, and recovered. May you find your dream and hold onto it. Never give up. Sometimes love takes more than a first chance.
Love is the beauty which clings to life, binds hearts together, leaving them hollow without it. – JV
Jewelia Delarosa isn't too eager to fight her way through another dead-end relationship. Then her eyes find his. By chance. He's like wine, rich and intoxicating. One sip rocks her world, and suddenly, she's drowning in a guy called Indigo. She doesn't know how to handle her overwhelming emotions. His mood swings. The two women who refuse to let him go. The battle is all uphill. Giving up seems the most sensible thing to do, but once she's tasted his love, given herself to him body and soul, living without him is not an option. Until she realizes, leaving him seems the only protection from heartbreak.
About to begin his residency at NYU Medical center, Indigo's plan is to rescue every child who needs him, even if it sucks the life out of him. He doesn't remember what happiness feels like. His mother haunts him. A wannabe girlfriend stalks him. He doesn't need another woman in his life. Then a stunning gaze captures his, and while fighting to resist, he sinks deeper into something he never thought could be his. Love has never been in the cards for Indigo. But a girl named Jewelia is as necessary as the blood coursing through his veins.
Fighting For Control
The windows were fogged, the sound of our breathing so heavy, I wasn't sure if it was caused by his breath, or mine, or the heat of our bodies clouding the glass. I felt the weight of a single finger as it rounded my breast, lightly skimming the silky fabric, all that stood between his hands and my skin. The stimulating circle grew smaller until my nipple tightened beneath his insistent touch, burning the tingling flesh beneath my dress.
I had no control over my body that strained against his, my hips that rocked with encouragement, overwhelming desire that flooded my senses. I fought the urge to grasp the hardness beneath me, touch him intimately, as he was doing to me.
When I moaned his name, he reacted by cupping my entire breast, his touch growing firmer, lifting, almost ejecting my breast from the garment's hold. Again and again he cupped and released until I thought I would die.
"Indigo ..." I squirmed, feeling him harden even more than I'd imagined possible.
"Baby," he groaned, "you have no idea what you're doing to me. But if you want me to stop, tell me and I will. I'll do whatever you want ... but I'm not going to fuck you ... not here ... not now."
Fighting For You
"Hey. I didn't know you speak Spanish. How come you never told me?" I gave his abs another nudge.
"Why didn't you tell me you speak Spanish?" Eyes innocent, he grinned, pushing my elbow away, pinning my hand to my thigh. "Keep your paws to yourself. My ribs are getting sore."
"I'll have to start telling you that." I shot him a sarcastic look. "And who could feel a rib through that muscle?" When I tried to pinch his side, he grabbed my hand.
"Since we've been speaking fluent English, I guess I didn't find the need to mention I speak one or two other languages." His tickling fingers tortured my sensitive ribcage.
I screeched, hopping around in the seat, panting, "What other languages?"
"Russian. Learning Chinese."
"What are you gonna do? Work for the United Nations?"
He turned serious. "Jewel. I'll be practicing ..." he hesitated.
I angled my head. "Yes, I know you'll be practicing ... go on."
"I'll be working with children from a variety of countries. I plan on learning the languages, backgrounds, traits, histories, likes and dislikes of each and every child who walks, or is wheeled through the doors of the hospital."
I'd never witnessed such a degree of dedication. All I could say was a breathless, "Oh."
"No child is going to slip between the cracks if I have anything to say about it."
"Oh." Again, I felt the need for an extra gulp of air.
"There's a lot of work to be done."
"You're such a humanitarian." I threw my arms around his neck, and a leg over his thigh, and started kissing him, compassionately at first, then something deep inside me snapped like a fragile spring stretched beyond its capacity.
We'd left sunset behind in Poughkeepsie, and dusk was settling over the river, colliding with mist. A moon on the rise projected a glow on our surroundings, but it was far too subtle to invade the dimness that had befallen the interior of our car.
When I straddled him, I knew I was asking for trouble. I was mindless. I was floating. I was trembling with passion. Nothing could have torn me away from Indigo's arms other than a train crash, perhaps.
I felt as if the car we were on unlatched and barreled on its own track, swaying, tumbling, and I was thrust headfirst into a tunnel from which I never wanted to emerge. Life was Indigo and me. There was no such thing as tomorrow, because if I had my way we'd be locked in that moment, in each other's arms forever.
My hips were rolling faster than Metro North's wheels. My hands roamed his chest, rounded his pecs, traced his abs. My fingertips swept his neck, stroked his cheeks, tousled his hair, while my mouth occupied his. It didn't matter if I could barely breathe, because I never wanted to come up for air. As my fingers dug into his flesh, the grip of my lips grew firmer. I heard Indigo gasp, felt him stiffen, then he seemed to be carried away with the tide. His arms tightened around me so fiercely, the air in our lungs was shared.
"Jewel ... people will ..." he managed to free his lips, but only for a moment.
"The car is empty. There's no one here but us," my whisper assured.
From our position, we were shielded by the opposing seat, encased in a cubicle of privacy. I felt his craving and longed for him to find the button on my jeans again, confess that he loved me, smother me until our final breaths were drawn as one.
His hands slipped under my sweater, hungrily running the length of my back, the soft pads of his fingers unclasping my bra, drifting up and down my sides.
Moaning, I locked my fingers around his neck, pulling his lips to mine, unable to bring myself close enough to the man who was driving me insane.
Indigo's cologne smelled masculine, his warm lips sweetened by mints. His hair feathered through my fingers, and as thoughts of tomorrow swirled through my mind, everything inside me began to explode. I angled my head every which way, teasing his lips, then sucked in his tongue until it almost touched the back of my throat.
His palms grazed the side mounds of my breasts, each scathing caress capturing more of me. He pinched my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, twisting until the sensation lit up my insides. I squirmed in his lap, moaning. He drew in a heavy breath, ragged and indecisive, as if struggling with something so much stronger than he was capable of handling.
Suddenly his hands were beneath me, pressing, urging, until the only thing between us were my breasts and his hardness. My body climbed his, rocked without mercy, then slowed, eased, again and again, the friction heating the clothing we wore.
My hips danced, rolling faster than the wheels that carried us home, until I was brought to a screeching halt by my panting partner, who gently pried my fingers from their death grip on the back of his neck, peeled my undulating body off his, and set me onto the seat beside him, his hoarse voice whispering, "If we don't stop now ... I can't be held accountable." His chest rose and fell as if recovering from a five mile run. His face was flushed, his hairline dotted with perspiration.
He shocked me to my senses. I struggled to catch my breath, to throttle my emotions: my racing heart, the tingling ache inside that solicited more and more from me ... from Indigo.
My head rolling in my hands, I groaned. "Oh, God."
He pulled me close, but didn't kiss me. He just held me. I felt him tremble. "Oh, babe. I don't know. I just don't know." His words were choked. "It's getting harder and harder."
"It sure is." I attempted a laugh.
Guilt replaced the butterflies that chewed holes in my stomach when I was with him. Attempting to lighten the mood, I casually said, "Are you okay?"
"Not really." His words were tight.
"Is there anything I can do?"
He stared at me in disbelief. "Seriously?" He heaved one of the biggest sighs I'd ever heard slip through anyone's lips. "Haven't you done enough?" He tried to laugh, but only his shoulders moved.
"If it's any consolation, it's not easy for me either. Women get blue balls too. Even though we don't really have balls, you know the blood collects, and we feel like we're gonna freak if we don't ..."
He looked at me as if I'd just confessed to murder. "Jewel," his voice was flat, "I have extensive knowledge of the human anatomy. I know the physiology of an orgasm, and the effects on a body when it's denied release." His eyes bore into mine. "I know what to do to a woman ... how to bring her to a screaming climax." He ran a finger over my lower lip, a thumb across my cheek.
"You'll have to show me your skills sometime soon, doc." At the thought, my stomach clenched, and my panties drenched.
The train pulled into Grand Central Station shortly after we'd composed ourselves. I cradled the containers of rice and chili Mom had packed for Emma. We hailed a cab and headed for my apartment.
The streets were dim and relatively empty, the pavement glossy with a light drizzle that had begun to fall. Indigo's arm was around my shoulders as we sat in the back of the cab. I put my hand on his knee, once more desperate to know. "Are you sure you're okay?"
In the dimness his pale eyes were crystalline. His thumb strummed my chin, brought my lips to his for a sweet kiss. "Don't worry about anything. I'm fine." He drew back and smiled. "I should be off duty by six on Friday evening. How about I pick you up on the way home? We'll get dinner, take in a movie. Sound good?"
"Sounds amazing." I heaved a sigh and plastered myself against his side, confident everything would be just fine.